02 April 2014
Following on from the Metro's list of office jargon we hate, we've pulled together a list of lesser-known phrases. How many of these have you used?
The Metro’s topic for ‘Today’s Talker’ was office jargon we hate. It included words like blue-sky thinking, idea shower, going forward, getting the ball rolling and of course thinking outside of the box.
This use of management jargon tops the list of office bugbears, as we highlighted last year. But there’s plenty more workplace waffle – we’ve picked our favourites of some lesser known terms below. Have you heard of, or perhaps used, any of these?
Office workers are often referred to as desk jockeys, worker bees, corporate cadavers or Dilberts, amongst others. But have you heard of the following descriptions?
The crowd that knows everything there is to know about computers
A double dipper
Someone who retires, but then starts another career
A manager who dumps work on the desks of his or her employees when they’re not around to avoid a confrontation
A lightning rod
Someone who is a common target for blaming or dumping work on.
A manager who tries to busy him or herself with work outside of their job role or department.
Someone who feels the need to display all their awards and certificates to demonstrate their brilliance
A stepford worker
A member of staff who has become an unthinking clone.
Not an acronym for a small business – this can also stand for subject matter expert. You’re bound to know one and they’re always keen to show how much they know.
Someone who falls asleep at their desk
A worker who is clueless – used after the 404 messages you get online if a webpage is no longer available.
Have these found your way into your workplace conversations?
Having breakfast at your desk.
Performing a Muppet shuffle
This is where managers move underperforming workers to unsuspecting departments.
Sweeping up lots of small, often administrative jobs into one role.
When a member of staff carries out their manager’s requests to the letter, knowing their boss has missed something or hoping that it will result in a disaster.
Performing a work sandwich
Printing off personal items in between two work-related documents to hide the evidence.
Realising it’s an ohnosecond moment
The point at which you suddenly realise you may have made a terrible mistake.
When someone manipulates staff in a discussion towards particular outcomes under the disguise of facilitating the conversation. (Combination of facilitate and manipulate).
The only area you can get a bit of peace and quiet - usually refers to the toilets.
Where something interesting happens and several heads pop up at the same time to hear or see what the excitement is about.
Hands up who’s done this one? This is when you send your superiors an unnecessary email to subtly let them know you’re working overtime.
When you zone out and have a glazed expression on your face, often during a meeting.
Boil the ocean
To do the impossible
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